I'm gonna miss that boy so much ..
as so do i miss MY GEREK PEEPS ..

i'm sorry i had to leave you for 4 days . i won't know how it is like for you w/o me here ..
i won't know what you're doing but i hope you're truthful ..
i'll be back soon alright , baby {:


i'm gonna leave the house in 1 hour time i think . i'm waiting for my dad to come back home to bathe then we're off to tuas checkpoint .
i had to teman brother while he's driving to kl so as not to let him fall asleep .
kene bnyk minom kopi lah aku gini mcm ..

i'm not feeling pretty well tho . i'm currently having flu , swollen eyes , stomach cramp due to mens , back ache .
i brought my book , The Breaking Dawn with me and also the social studies textbook .
walau , kene blaja sial . hai ..

hati sungguh berat to leave home and b here ..
i can't tahan the feeling that i miss him so much tho we spent time together after school tadik ..
:{
macam nak nangis sia ..

okay lah , i wanna take a rest .


Pray for me and my family that i have a safe journey to and fro kay people {:
thanks !






" B , rmb , i trust you to the fullest and i don't expect you to do things which you know i dislike ..
don't go home late or i'll slap you ass . haha .. i'll miss you , baby .. miss me too alright ?
jgn lupe mira .. coz mira tkkn lupe nabil ..
I love You ! .. "

28 April 2009 ,

School was as per normal . mai pleated my hair to scorpion pleats .
things turned bad during the photo-taking .
one thing bout having tanny ho as our co form is that , her EYES ARE ALLERGY TO FRINGES !
bloody fuck lah kay .
she asked us to pinned up our fringes .
we pinned but right after she sat down , we took of the clip and let our fringes down . but then ! she stood up and screamed at us .
i swear i was cursing her under my breath .
4 bloody straight years , i've never sit down during photo taking .
i've always been standing at the second row with neveon .
but this year , i stand beside shunyee for the very first time . hahah !
then had lessons till 2 .
rushed home with hetesh .
bathed , put on clothes then dashed to pie kia first to get some pie's since i haven't eat yet .
met mai at the mrt station .
and efa met us at the clinic at ttsh .
we were there from 4 plus till 5.15 gituk .
i picked her braces colour . green and grey .
after , we headed down to vivo .
beh skali i saw this sign " exit D to henderson waves " .
so efa kate lets go uh .
kite g uh .
skali ... mak aih ..
kene jalan masok dlm mount faber "forest" ..
efa tengah , aku right , mai left . kite jalan uhhh ... skali i turn right , ADE KUBUR !
kubur kain kuning , keramat .
pe lagik , AKU JERIT UH !
satu jerit , smuer jerit . just imagine , we reached there kol 6 lebih .
by the time kiter nak sampai henderson waves , da mlm . beh cmne nk alek ?
kite dah nak smpai tangga , nk msok dalam agik .
tapi ktrng nye bulu roma dah naek. so tk jadi g .
kite plan untuk g sane ramai2 on our mid year marking day jadi tk seram sgt uh . at least ade ramai org .
instead , we headed to rooftop .
beh mai uat kawan nan this small boy name , daniel .
he's primary 5 .
sumpah die sungguh irritating . over you .
mane2 kite g , die ikot . niy uh mai pandai uat kawan . haha !
kol 7 lebih gituk kite jalan , angkat kaki .
took train home .
in the NEL , baby called . pas u mak call . fuhh .
hahaha !
nearing to amk , i called mom . she asked me to wait for her and brother at teh mrt platform .
mai waited with me for while and she had to go .
saw my dad and soon mom and brother came .
trained to yishun .
g mkn as a fam .
kol 10 lebih gituk alek .
nak kat 11 , smpai uma .
mandi , tido .


today ,

woke up late . fucking shit . niy gara2 dah ngntok sgt smpai terlupe nk set alarm clock .
nasib mai call .
cepat2 mandi , siap . tapi tk sempat ikat rambot .
hahah ! meet die kat mrt , trained to school .
kite jln cepat giler nk mampos .
bile nk smpai gate , kiite dua lari skit . nasib kite still on time .
hahaha !
lessons as normal luh . cume i got so dizzy during maths class . i slept throughout the wwhole lesson .
mother tongue lesson jadi oral exam period .
suay , i was the first to go .
gagap sial aku !
the conversation discussion was about hobby . boleh tahan uh tu part .
da bes , baby plak ade oral . kite nmpk each other tapi tak tegor tros :{
went home . meet mum at amk hub .
reach home from amk hub , read book for while then 7 plus to 8 i went out and lepak with my primary school friends .
smoke smoke . then i got dizzy again .
lepak lame skit , then i went home .
mabok gile nak mampos . beh msg baby .
baby thought i drink sia .. padehal i never ..
i keep to my promises not to ever drink again . i promised him alr .
i swear i didn't drink . tapi ade feeling yang my mens dtg uh .
skali smpai uma , suay agik , mens tol2 dtg uh .
mood tros tukar siol ..
tapi i'll try my best not to cepat marah kay .
baby dah standby dah ;D hahah !
k lah , i wanna do surveys kat facebook . huhu ! ;D





MIMPI SWEET SWEET , PEOPLE ! ;D

photos of ytd's outing .
i'll elaborate more tonight lau my bro tak use kay .
i wanna go smoke .

peace people !






ily , bby !

tmr class photo taking and changing of ez-link card .
kimak , leceh sialssszszs .
and hopefully i don't have a bad hair day tmr .

tmr will be going out with mai and efa as mai ask me to teman her for her dental app .
so i said okay but i didn't promise .
no guys will be with us .
da tk cam dulu lagikkkk .

Lessons were as per normal today . yang paling gerek kan , time poa test , AKU TIDO !
tak uat even a single shit pun . da tak kuasa sial ..
then mother tongue , cikgu yati tk dtg .
relief teacher took over . we know her and we call her " yeeyin " *don't know correct anot ) , the K-NITE nye host tu uh . yang montel2 tuhh .
hahah !
eh ! die cine tapi tau mlayu and tulis JAWI tawuuuu !
malu siol kat those yang tk tau tulis jawi .
aku skit2 je uh boleh .

so after 1.30 strikes , i got ot of the class w/o even saying 'thank you' to my poa tcher .
went out of school . jumpe sayang pelat aku and headed to s.c
around 3 , we made a move since tu pelat nk g gym(LOL!) and wanna study .
reach home . chat . play pet society kat facbook .
then aku uat this quiz kan .
it makes me think i'm really fated to be with Nabil .


cool kan ! dorang cam tauuu aje . HAHHA !







kay luh , MIMPI SWEET SWEET ,PEOPLE ! ;D

Yesterday , baby sent me this long and sweet msg .
he said sorry to me for the words he said .
i may not know what may have opened his heart to apologize to me but i'm very glad he knows he has to apologize .

" i'm always forgiving you no matter what wrong you've did okay , baby {: "

and so , my mom asked me to and get ready to head down to amk .
so i bathed and got ready quickly .
we went to the Pie Kia shop to get some pies .
and anw people , that outlet dah halal alr . so happy .
very cheap and delicious .
then me and mother walked around amk hub to wait for my father to come .
half and hour like that , father was alr waiting for us at the entrance of ntuc .
went in , bought some kitchen stuff .
idk how long we spent inside there .
after , we headed to macs to chill and eat there till 10 plus going 11 .
went back home , watched chucky .
sial ah tu cite .

baby pey pelat . die ckp chucky as 'CHUNKIE' , congkak as 'CONGKANG' .
hahha , you cant imagine how hard i was laughing on the floor when he said that .
tapi cute uh .
;D


i've created facebook account . so people , addd me lau ade facebook kay .


somehow , i made a right choice deleting my tagged acc .
i logged in baby acc . pinjam kejap je luh .
then suay ! first thing aku nmpk , profile si pukimak tu .
kimak , sot sekejap sia .
ckp nk delete , at last .. -.-
but tkp . since i don't have tagged alr , my heart won't get any pain . i won't get to see things which i don't wish to see {:

Maybe tmr , i wanna go trim my eyebrow .
nk ajak mai ! heh !
she also trim her eyebrow . cool eh .
so tmr g kedai , go trim and spend time with baby {:
&&& sok ade maths test . cb !
wish me luck wokey !


Have a nice day ! ;D

nowadays i wake up at 6.30 instead of 5.30am . since i'm still early when i reach school if i were to wake up at the usual time .
mai pun dahh start keluar lambat and ktrng sui sui in time for assembly .
so we don't needa waste time hanging around at the canteen .
nari pagy2 tk nmpk baby pun .
i think he went in later than me .
cm biasa skrng , nmpk die , ask for his green tea tissue . take 2 and keep one in my pocket in case i sweat so much .
he'll throw the tissue at me since we're quite far away .
just a few classes away .
tk penah dok sebelah class die . tsk . tapi nasib gak luh .
sot jgk aku .

first lesson was geog and we had a test on geography of food and green and blue revolution .
did last min study .
at last , ape yang aku memorised , tk kluar pun . sial .
but frankly , this is the very first test which i could fill up most of the questions with answers .
tapi tk tau uh answer aku tol ke tk . at least i tried .
today i was like a pig , asik ngntok ajer .
i slept after i finished my geog test . then next was mother tongue .
had this peribahasa exercise .
sumpah aku tak tawu uat langsong :{
smpai cikgu bahasekan aku ! D:
tknak bilang uh pe cikgu ckp . nakmu kpo . heh !

then had maths . did probability/possibilities exercises .
then reccess .
saw baby with ___ . terkejot jap yer .

had english . but surprisingly , time pass so fast during english .
last period was accounts .
aku tk kuase nk blaja tu subject agik .
so i slept . zan g cocok bende kat my ear . geli nk mampos .
sleep for 1 hour siul .
die sroh aku bgon , aku tk layan .
then se nabu tu pun tido kat blakang . step blaja for few mins beh at last tido .
ahaha !
zan draw bende tk senonoh kat comic strips in the L!FE news paper .
sial uh die .

beh si cikgu ukimak tu tahan ktrng smpai kol 1 gituk when schol ended at 12.30 .
cibai , sot sial aku .
class planned nk walk out oof the class together tapi mak oih , die jerit kat ktrng .
se nabu tu pun kene jerit bab die ingat dah dismissed , padehal belom .
hahahahhahahahahah !

the whole class kept cursing her . hahahah !
the teachers actually ade trip g marina barrage . tapi si pukimak tu ckp ape tau , " i'm scarificing for the sake of 4n2 . i'm not going for the expensive trip that has been organised . "
beh satu2 pekik , " sialah , NOBODY SIAL ASK YOU NOT TO GO . DIDN'T EVEN ASK YOU TO SACRIFICE FOR US , LAH FUCK ! "
hahaha ! macam2 keluar dari mulut ktrng .
then i shouted " eh cher , go marna barrage where got expensive , bodoh ! "
geram pey pasal . because of that , i had lil time to spend with baby .
coz baby PELAT aku pey pantat gatal nk keluar nan kawan die .
so slacked till 2 .
reached home , online jap , chat jap .
then tros ngorok . kene tinggal sorang agik nari smpai mlm .
mama alek lambat coz she go shopping kat tamp .
haiyah . matae keluar , mother alek lmbat . mendak sial hidop -.-
hmm , pe nak uat .

nari Huz uatkan kiteorang donuts ! siul ah , marvelicious !
sedap giler . HAHA !
my tongue pedih gile coz of some thing .
kiwakkkk , seksa sial !



done with 1 of my malay homework . left with surat kiriman tidak rasmi to LTA .
haiyah . sok je lah uat .
penat sial .





SWEET SWEET MIMPI , PEOPLE ! ;D

i think the whole singapore was affected by the strong wind . i mean , REALLY STRONG wind .
we were affected by the sumatra's storm .
news says this is the worst that had happened since the last 9 years and it usually happens in april and december .
and we're likely to be affected again but not as bad as ytd's night .
god , i admit i was fucking scared you know .

i was in thee toilet smoking .
then i smoked all the way till half when my toilet door suddenly banged so loudly .
i hear plastic/glass things dropped on the floor but luckily , nothing in my house dropped nor break .
then my room door kept on banging and i got so irritated .
so i use smthg to block my door .
i look through the window to see how strong the wind is .
gosh , nightmare . mcm dunia nak kiamat gituk ..
scary tawuuu ..

but anw , dia2 je lah kay tkd bende buruk akan jadi .
insya'allah .. amin .

today reach sch , sui sui masok and go for assembly .
mai waited for me tho i was superrr late .
then skali , terserempak baby .
baekkk per . pagy2 , i mintak him his green tea tissue coz i sweat so much in the morning due to the walking journey from mrt to school .
the lessons were great .
we're just preparing for our mid years :{
did well for maths lessons . attentive , participative .

after school , meet baby straight away .
then while heading towarsd s.c , fot this 3 mats wearing all black , kacau me .
" syg .. syg .. ala malu plak .. "
syg bapak kau pey konek uh siol !
i just ignore and fastened up my pace .
niy lah akibatnye lau baby tk go togther with me . thats why sometimes i get so fed up when he ask me to meet him straight there .
i reached first and had to wait for him .
die dtg , he grabbed my the back of my neck and ask me what happened . pig tol .
geli sia .
then dua2 kepanasan , we move to the another s.c .
kite nye secret place .

while heading there , i saw the tress yang tertombang due to the strong wind ytd .
rabak sia . tsktsktsk .
bishan weak ah . amk gak strong ;p
kay fake .
slacked till 3 , coz the both of us were tired .
headed home , online , chat , offline , watch tv sorang2 .
tgok TMNT . da lame tk tgok tu . rinduu plak .
hahah !

mama reached home at 7.30 and she bought me cadbury bites .
didn't eat much of it but i drank alot of water .
currently chatting , listening to Right Round(my blog song) and doing my malay assignments .
had my 2.4km run ytd .
such a torture coz i had asthma attack when i finish running .
classmates say my face was so damn fucking red and i look sick .
i have such a wonderful classmates .
they helped me and some waited till i can breathe properly .
when i was at the 2nd level , bumped onto my classmate , lay .
he saw me so pale and he helped me till we get in the class .
and he handed me his 100 plus drink and ask me to finish up so i won't be so pale .
THANKS , LAY ! i owe you ;D

i'm stucked with my malay hmwk .
kimakkk , sot sial otak .
but my friend , yadiy is so kind to help me do research bout LTA .
coz we had to write a informal letter to LTA .
stupidddddd .
THANKS TO YADIY TOO ! ;D

i feel like deleting my tagged account -.-
i felt like punching my screen which actually i wanted to like punch her in real .
but i sayang my comp so i tahan the temptation .
cool , chill .
tutop one eye , smile . cm gini - ;DDDD
tapi one thing uh , muke kau stop it ah . mentak kene sial .
cb .

oh kay , aku mau off . nk uat hmwk .
ciao .

nice kan ? ;D i do it myself you knowwwwww .


today was very tiring . the bloody schol brought friday's lesson to today .
kimak , penat sial .
today was totally tiring day . i was panting going up and down the stairs .
today minachiku tk dtg school .
die demam .
GET WELL SOON ! ;D

english was a free period , thats why i did that lil flower there .
had poa test today .
i think ii'm gonna get 0 .
hahahah ! kimak , tk tawu sial cmne nk uat . cb .

tmr ade p.e . siol ahhhh .

after school , met baby outside school . then headed to my crib to slack .
msged mama that i'll meet her at compass point .
around 4.15 gituk we go out from the house .
had a great time with baby .
had alot of laughters ! {:



SWEET MIMPI , PEOPLE !






" i'll always trust and love you no matter what , baby .. "

" i know , i was a BITCH in the past .. "



today had my english oral at 2.20 . but in ended so fucking late .
school ended exactly at 1.30pm .
then on-ed my hp and received a msg from baby ..
from the way he msged me , i knew , smthg wasn't right . idk but i just can tell whether everything is alright or not ..
so then , he told me what happened ..
i swear i didn't do anything that upset baby ..
he's just being too worried/scared/angry ..
and since after we had the talk last night bout him not wanting me to even step into ITE ..

his pain , my pain too !
fuck , i can't bear to see him in pain anymore ..

if can , aku nk delete tagged account aku or possible , delete smuer comments orang kasi aku .
aku mcm nk delete smuer contacts msn aku , except for the my peeps and baby .
aku cam dah tk brani nk jadi social sgt lagi .
aku tk brani nk sakitkan ati die lagi .. walaupun aku tk uat pape , other people's reaction towards me may hurt him tho i ignore ..
i know , i admit , i play timer dulu with my ex's . yes , i was a total bitch .
a Bitch okay !
thats why it worries baby alot now when he sees my tagged account is full of guys comment .
tho they just ask me for intro and msn .
mmg , baby his ownself is doing it . but tkp , bia die uat . i tak pasal .
lau rase sakit hati pun i will just keep quiet . coz i trust him . i believe him . i know i can count on him .
worst , he's scared that i'll be the girl i used to be last time .
it hurts ya'know ..
oone after another ..
i'm trying so hard to avoid/ignore things which may hurt him so much ..
i'm seriously trying so hard ..
i don't give my number to any other guys anymore tho they ask me for it .
i swear i never give them my number .
i'm proud of having baby being with me . i really do .

if they ask for my number , i will just say " i'm sorry , i love my boyfriend . i don't wish to hurt him by contacting other guys . in fact , he doesn't like it . "
i really do say such things you know ..

but what have i done wrong to be in this state ? ..

sad i didn't managed to get the pink and white edition one .
that one 39 bucks , ini 49 . cb . 10 bucks extra sial .
wallet pun kering !
i went to the nike boutique at cineleisure with mama .
bising uh lau shopping nan mak lau nk beli bende yang ktrng nk .
i wanted to take the brown one but mama said this black is nicer .
so i took this .

at least tk dpt the pink and white edition , tkp . i prefer this .
easier to match my clothes .

then hunt for seethee's bday prezzie .
searched at More than Words .
and i found this lil thing cute . so i bought it for her .
tho its small , i hope she likes it {:
the thing is just as cute as her ! hahaha !

tmr is schooool day . argh ! ade oral lagik !
start lambat plak tu ! kol 3 ! cb !

currently chatting with khai and seethee .
baby just went offline .

the 'Meet me Interest' in tagged is annoying , i tell you .
irritating nk mampos .
i wonder who had clicked on baby eh .
*curious*







SWEET MIMPI , PEOPLE !

MATE AKU KENE TEMBEL AGIK !!
sial ah ..

As i've promised you ..



Today was superb . like i've promised , i'll make today a great day for me and baby {:
he enjoyed himself .
he reached my crib around 11 plus when i was reading newspaper .
he came , talk2 , smoke2 . then i go bathe and iron my clothes .
after i got ready and everything , we were still early .
so we slacked a lil while more .
around 2 we made a move .
headed to cineleisure , cm biase .
but ya'know , when we reach somerset alr kan , my heart was beating so fast that i can hardly catch my breath .
i think its because it's been a long time since the last time i went out with baby ..
degup-degup sak jantung .
bought the 2.30 show , fast and furious 4 .
settled inside the theater . then baby said " you know , it feels like as if ktrng first time keluar seh .. "
i just smiled {:

the movie is nice ! you guys should watch .
lotsa sexy girls for tha boyszszs . HAHAH !
after the show , baby accompanied me to get my nike slipper .
from somerset , we trained to penny . da dpt colour beh size plak tkd , cb !
then we walked to marina square .
jumpe his mama .
his mama lawa tawuuu . jgn main2 !
after , headed to esplanade . lepak sane jap .
then we headed home .

today was fun , seriously {:
tmr kawan ajak keluar , but my mama still considering :{
sorry lau aku tk dpt g , guys ..



anw , HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY TO SEEETHHHHEEEE !

meeting baby soon . i'm waiting for him to come over to my crib ..
will be catching fast and furious 4 later on ..
i'm sticking to my promise to make it a great day for us , i assure you .

in the end , baby's friend going out with baby on saturday .
BAGOS !
nak jadi spoiler aje .
;p

school was great i think . i went to school alone . mai tk g school .
sat so right infront during assembly .
the eclipse book , i've finished it alr in like 3 days .
wanted to return but terlupe .
dah reach home aru teringat . shhheeeshh .
i'm tahan-ing my temptation to get the breaking dawn book coz later i want to go m'sia , by the time i finish the book alr .
so tunggu sampai 29th april aru borrow buku tu ;D

"bella love jacob , jacob love bella . bella love edward , edward love bella .."

pikiran aku bnyk skali when i read the new moon and eclipse .
somehow , it reminds me of my past . who i used to be ..
complicated . you just feel like choosing two . humans are greedy , yes .
but you can't have both ..
i'm always making things hard .
but now , since baby and i are together , things changed drastically .
no more the Mira who used to love 2 person at a time ..
no more the girl who mixes with the wrong company {;
all thanks to baby .
in the end , Nabil was the one i choose to be till now .
ain't gonna be unfaithful anymore . NONO .
i'm staying faithful with baby til whenever kay .
no matter how hard the situation is to me , i'll try my best to everything ..

Whatever you are thinking baby , rmb that i love you .
I know i've hurt ya deeply and i'm truly sorry for everything ..
i'm not gonna get myself to hurt ya anymore ..
i just can't stand the pain when you're down/sad ..
i'm sorry ..
sorry for everything ..
i'll never leave you alone , ever alright {:
ily , truly , i do .

kay fuck ah kay . i did somehting which hurt baby soo deeeply .
:{
b , i'm truly sorry kay ..
please , forgive and forget pls ..
i really don't have intentions to do that andd i too don't have any intentions to hurt ya ..
i love you , pls ..

aku da tkd mood luh nk type ape jadi nari ..
tmr i'm having a date with baby ..
and i promise him i'll make it a great outing ..
i'll make him happy , i'll not make him sad .
i'll make up everything i did that hurts him today ..

anw , aidil , aku sorry kay bab aku uat ko terhentak kepale ko kat jason time maths class ;D HAHAHAHHAA !
aku janji aku uat lagi , HAAHAHA ! , fake kay .
sorry bnyk2 . hrp2 kepale ko tak bengkak kay ;D

13 April 2009 ,

monday lessons were the best . not much subjects tho .
and damn it , i knew something will go wrong with me .
during mother tongue class , i just felt like puking man !
my head was so dizzy i couldn't even lift my head up . so i closed my eyes . it looks like i'm sleeping but i'm not .
mai was sleeping as she had to wake up early in the morning for her NCDCC day .
die tido , mak oih . hahah !
then she scribbled smthg on my paper . she wrote " BANGUN ! JANGAN TIDO ;P ! "
but she herself was sleeping beside me . nak ketawe pun dah tkd strrngth sia . buat lawak uh tu minachi .
after school , i can't remeber what i did but i think i went to meet baby .
yeah correct . i went to meet baby and slack kat study corner .
around 3 plus gituk went home and rest .

14 April 2009

had poa test and i screwed the test . i wasn't even ready for it . fuck ass .
i didn't eat during reccess . in fact , i don't really eat nowadays .
loss of apetite tho .
i eat when i have moood .
didn't have to stay back for poa lsp as it was ss lsp week .
santhi snatched 2 sessions of s.s lsp to her poa lsp .
so greedy seh that women . she's n-u-t-t-y .
after school , i met baby for while as he had to go home and take his takraw stuffs .
and mai had a.a rehearsal that afternoon . so i teman her till 4 like that as Ms Fauziah cam to our table and talked to us .
she always ask me this question which actually makes me shiver and make my words staggered .
she asked , " Amira , skrng awak attached nan sape ? "
i tried to think of words to reply her . i don't like teachers' asking me bou my personal things .
so i replied , " err , tkd lah cikgu . mane ade lagik . "
she said , " da broke up eh ? i thought you're still with him ? "
i replied , " Him tu sape cikgu ? mane boy seh tu , cikgu ? "
she said , " alah , yang the one you're with last time tu .. "
i think . and i think i got who she meant .
i replied , " maksud cikgu , the guy yang pernah gadoh nan ffe eeh ? "
she said , " ah yes ! die . dah tak nan die lagy eh ? "
i replied , " eh cikgu ! dah lame seh dah tak nan die ! "
she was surprised and confused i can say . hahaha !
she's the most gerek punye discipline mistress of all uh . she's so outgoing .
stayed till 4 as all of us had to go . i can alr see baby outside with his friends playing takraw .
so went home with huz .
met baby jap kat lua . told him i'm meeting mama at amk and i went off .
he didn't even give me a goodbye kiss ..
reached home from amk hub at around 5 plus .
read my book and took a nap .


15 April 2009

today , our time-table sucks nak mampos ! due to the annual awards ceremony on friday , we're gonna be dismissed at 10 am on friday .
then we received a letter saying that the school is concerned bout our education as we had missed alot of lessons due to the holidays .
so they'd screwed our wednesday time-table .
friday's lessons is brought forward today .
so we had to bring the subject books we have on friday till 12.30 and also the subject books we have on wednesday after 12.30 nye period .
wah , like shit uh .
we had 4 periods of maths , 3 periods of english and we had poa when we actually don't have poa on wed .
what the fuckkkkk .
but endure je lah . i slept during poa lesson as santhi went beserk .
can't stand it so i slept .
zan kacau me . waduh . he poke my nose with my flexible curve ruler , he shoook my table and whatsoever to wake me up . but i ignored him .
and i laughed when i was sleeping . maybe i was dreaming of somthing related to the eclipse story .
went reccess with zan and salwa . had fun with them i tell you . hahah !
tige2 bual konek sial . hahah ! aslkan we had laghters sudah eh .
after school , nmpk baby kat detention room , sticking his head out and swit2 kat someone .
i asked him what time he finish his detention , and he said at 3.30 .
so i waited for him tho he said i don't needa wait .
i'm being good ^^ for some reasons . so idc , i still wait for him .
die keluar , we went out of school together .
g slack kat bishan . around 4 made a move .
reached home , eat , read book , tdo .
thats my daily routine . haha !

tmr is the last day of school for the week . wee !
;D

i went to someone's blog .
and i saw (insert name here)'s msn .
kay seriously now i wonder what he told others bout what happened .
last time , he told this 2 people what happened when i actually broke up with him the first time .
and now ?
why must i get to find out things which will actually make me soooo .. angry , sad , frustrated ?
the picture may be small but i can recognize (insert name here)'s msn nick .
its so obvious .
what the heck ?


kay , i don't wanna say much bout what i found out ..
i find out tooo much things ..
me and baby are alr okay . so i just don't wanna make a big fuss ..
tlg lah , control kay mira .
whatever he told her , i don't know whether i wanna know or not ..
if i know , i'll get hurt .. if i don't know , i'll get frustrated . fuck .
baby wanna date me on this friday to make up for the previous friday which he was supposed to ... uhm , go out with me .
i hope things won't go wrong before the day again .
he promised anyway ...

i've not been sleeping quite well lately .
my condition is .. so-so ..
god knows how is it .
each night , when i listened to Edward's Lullaby , my mind was so peaceful .. like nothing had happened ..
eventually , i cried after that , for i-don't-know-why ..
it has been a very suffering week for me .. how am i able to forget everything in just a snap ? ..

today , woke up in the morning , cleaned up the house and went out around 2 plus to woodlands .
met up with cik zai , mama's friend .
went jalan2 .
stopped at aussini as mama got me a 6 piece set of towel .
then i head to action city and bought a bag tag .
then went to x-craft to buy another friendship band .
just couldn't get enough of it eh ;D
and got a lanyard coz i find it leceh to always open and close my bag to reply msgs .
i don't put it in my pocket coz it bludges .


2 weeks 4 more days till i meet my oh-so-long-never-see cousins/nieces/nephews/aunty/uncle .
i bet all my anak sedare dah besar dah skrng .
hani will be there too ! ;D AHAKS !
hani and her uhm , idk whether she got a lil brother or sister . born last year . didn't get to visit the family .
but i'll get to meet them sooon !;D

tomorrow school -.-
oh yeah , santhi called me . i knew she'll ask why i didn't come to school .
haha .
i can read her mindddd . and she told me to revise for the poa test .
i said " i'll try ;D "
will be reporting to school at 8.30 am .
i really really hope nthg will happen to me tmr .. pls pls pls .
and good luck to me for the poa test , siul .


& yeah .

to Ayiid : Thanks yeah for the help {: and thanks for texting me to ask how i am .
appreciate much {:
thank god , me and your bro is finally okay .. {:




" i knew love will find the way .. "

on 050508 , 10pm
i can remember some things that happened that day which was a special day for me and for someone ..
i was at chai chee with brother in the 25 bus heading back to ang mo kio and i was on the phone with that someone whom i love soo much together with mai ..
that was the day i accepted him in my life coz i trust that he's not like any other guys ..
i remember he told me how happy he was that night ..

i remember one of the day at night when he called me ..

him: Mira .. i love you !
me: (keeps quiet for while) i love you too ..

i swear i said those words sincerely ..
since that night , my heart was totally for him , no one else ..
never have i put my heart onto anyone else though i have an ex who's in the same class as me ..
my mind was always onto him , my eyes are always searching for him , my ears are always yearing to hear his voice ..

the day after we were together , we went over to bishan to buy my mom's birthday present .
i remember every single bit of it .
i even remember the day when he gave the first peck of kiss on my lips .
it was near a bus stop when he gave me that surprise .
tho its just a peck of kiss on my lips , it meant alot to me .
that kiss makes me feel so special .

the first month of our anni was the greatest feeling of all .
we met up at dragon at tpy .
and he surprised me with this cuddly bear with a flower .
till now , i cuddled that bear whenever i miss him soo much ..
everything he gave me , is all in my room ..

this year i managed to celebrate my long awaited valentines with someone special ..
me and baby managed to come thru till this far ..
we went out wearing the same shirt , green in colour .
as it was both our favourite colour ..
we watched The Curious Case Of Benjamin Buttons ..
his warm hug warmed me thruout the movie ..
his sweet kiss he gave , to show he loves me ..
after the movie , we went to vivo rooftop to watched the beautiful scenery and we talked things out ..
he laid on my chest , and i hugged him . his body felt warm as ever ..

i remember the times we went for a swim at either yio chu kang or toa payoh ..
it was the only leisure time with baby and thats the time when we could talk things out with each other ..
he likes to throw me in the water ..
and i like to splash water at his face ..
those times .. god , i miss it so much ...

our 11 months came , and it was on sunday .
we had laughers , we were normal ..
not till the next day on monday ..
everyting went cocked up ..
everyting went haywire ..
till now .. things were not its supposed to be ..

god , why must i be in this state ..
is my sins towards him soo much that i have to face all this things alone ? ..
why ?
why is always me ?
why ? ..
i loved him so much , i've sacrificed everything for him . everything ..
i took any risks that awaits me ..
i was ill but i hecked care and think and think bout how am i gonna solve all this ..
i am seriously ill , but i-just-don't-care ...
god , please show me the right path i should go ..
amin .


sigh ..

great , so great now .
you're planning for a break up eh , bby ?
tell me when you want it .
i'll be ready .
i'm all prepared to face the worse of the worst {:



i want a car to bang me .
then go hospital , everything will be blurr to me .
so i won't rmb a thing .

He msged me last night .. i wasn't expecting anything ..
then he went online ..
he said sorry for the things he said yesterday ..
since he ditched me for ytd's outing , he wanted to make up on this coming friday as there'll be annual awards , the school will be released early ..
trust me , my hands were shivering to answer him ..
he said he promised nothing will happen and he promised , he won't ditch me anymore ..
but hmm , you know , once bitten , twice shy eh ..
it was hard for me to believe those words but coz i still have the love for him , i said that friday will be on ..
one thing that i must warn&say is that , things won't be the same anymore yeah ..


yesterday , i didn't sleep the whole night ..
my book kept me company ..
didn't even eat from morning till night but i just kept drinking water ..
eat medicine , i fought my heavy eyes as not to sleep ..
i kept on reading and reading my thick book ..
i don't think i could head down to p.r and chill as i seriously don't have energy to do anyting but to just be in my room and with the book .
tmr is sunday ..
and after , it'll be monday ..
and so it means , it a school day ..
i have to face everybody again ..
just hope i'll get well soon by then . i don't wanna faint , or vomit , or whatever in school ..
pleasssse uh .
i'll try to show my brighter side on monday ..

no worries bout me kay people .. {:







Have a great , great day ahead !






to my friend : i'm sorry .. but i hope you understand ..

don't get me wrong .. i didn't delete you off from my friendster & tagged list on purpose .
you just don't know how i feel right now ..
how hard i'm trying to calm myself down , settle things as soon as possible and etc ..
but anyway , i've deliberately added you again since i thought my actions were to harsh for you .
at least , i thought bout how you would feel ..
all because i loved you soo .

today was supposed to ... go out with , hmm , baby ...
but instead , he went out with his friends ..
god knws how i felt ..
but i just kept quiet ..
so long as he's happy and he is enjoying life with his friends which i bet can make him more happy , i'm fine with it ..
just as long as he's happy , i'm happy ..
i guess ..
nearing to 7 , mai sweetheart called me . asking how am i and stuffs ..
i nearly cried when talking bout 'him' ..
but managed to control .
then i received a msg from him .
obviously , i was shocked tho ..

i just hope everything will soon be alright ..
tmr maybe i'll be heading down to pasir ris to meet mai and then chill there with my friend ..
not sure but maybe ...




SWEET DREAMS !

& i hope , the instrumental song will touch your heart ..


I've given away my heart,
So it could be torn into pieces.
He left me with the feelings of betrayal and being forgotten.
I'm so in love, yet so alone.

Feeling his absense hurts the most.
My constant urge to call is almost taking over, while on the other side, my cycle of feelings starts with rage.
Slowly going into sadness, rage again, desperation, devastation, and finally denial.

Every morning I open my eyes to emptiness.
Seeing a long black hallway with nothing in between.
This so-called love has taken over my life leaving me distracted.

Days pass by and now my emotions are going crazy.
Leaving me no choice but to vomit.
To empty my pesimistic thoughts.
To stop thinking my life is over.
To stop my tears everynight from falling.
To stop feeling like my heart has shattered into fifty pieces.

The hardest part of moving on is the jealousy on top of all my misery.
But soon enough I'll go to bed realizing I survived this struggle.
I need to escape my depression to continue breathing.
And regain my strength to love again.



the other day in the morning , as usual , i always wear the heart necklace with the 'N' & 'M' initials ..
till that morning , when i wanted to brush my teeth , all of a sudden , the chain fell off when it was locked properly always ..
my face was blank . my mouth hanged open .
as you know , it somehow shows me a bad sign .
its a sign which i don't ever wanna know or think of ..
so i tried to change the chain as i forced myself to think that the chain lock it spoilt .
so i changed it .
still , after i finish bathing , the necklace went hanging loosely on my shoulder , ready to fall .
but i managed to get hold of it before it fell .

seeing it like that , i just feel like breaking down into tears ..
whats gonna happen between me and baby ?
:'(



baby and i fought like hell ytd ...
i couldn't stand it , i went offline and broke down into tears in my room ..
my heart couldn't take it ..
but still i endure it ..
sigh ..

but whatever it is , how bad baby treats me , no matter how bad he scolds me , no matter how much he'd had forgotten bout me , no matter how much he doesn't care bout me , i will always hold on to my promises that i will love him no matter what happens and no matter how bad the situation is , no matter how hurtful and stressful i am ..

baby , i just wanna let you know ..
i miss ya , i love ya ..
always in my heart and forever will be ..

i got to find out that he just care bout other people than me .
people = girls -.-
jealous ? who's not . Angry ? who's not .

Barbie Doll konon . hah . mcm Babi Doll ade uh kau .

watch your steps girl .

today , i didn't go school . woke up in the morning and i had a terrible flu and my eyes swollen like fishball .
coz of ytd . i __ like a baby . eh no . more to a person who's his/her heart is so broken to trillion of pieces .

woke up at 8 in the morning . bathed and got ready to go out to east coast .
my friend was so kind to accompany me at east coast .
why i chose e.c ?
coz , e.c is the place where i could relax my mind ..
it helps me alot ..

stayed at e.c till 12 plus like that and my friend and i bused down back to amk .
went to polyclinic together .
my friend didn't sleep the whole night ytd bab takot tido mati and will be late to meet me .
g clinic , register myself than went home .

got home , eat and took my medicine and went online .
i argue again with him kat msn ...
i can't take it anymore ..

tmr aku cm nk go out . go out , chill , drink drink drink .
should i ?

till here , Have a good day .


our 11 months sucks like one fucking shit .





" you lead your own life for now . and i lead my life . i won't bother you since you don't even bother bout me anymore . Thanks for not being concern about me when i'm terribly ill now .. "

i tell you , i can go crazy/mad/insane anytime from now .
fucking hell , he's making me so angry .

as usual , i didn't even fucking care to even msg him .
coz i know the more i say , the more the situation will get worse .
so i shut-my-mouth .
i saw him coming to school as i was alr in the canteen just waiting for the morning assembly to start.
again , i ignore . i tried not to look at him even , tho i did catch a glimpse of him for a while . less than a second okay -.-
school was prolly great today .
Ms Soh said i passed my maths test and i asked her .
(hoooorrraaayyyy!)
i didn't really concentrate enough during chemistry .
my mind was so disturbed .
after , it was p.e . and little did i know that i actually left my p.e shirt on my table .
fuck ! i've becoming more forgetful since the starting of this week .
see how much its affecting me ..
luckily zan forgot to bring his wallet and wanted to ring his mum using my phone to give him his wallet .
so i told him to bring me his p.e shirt also if there's a spare as i've forgotten mine .
i wanna thank zan blooody much for saving me from doing 20 push ups .
but well , in the end i had to do 10 coz i didn't wear the school p.e shorts .
for p.e , we did te 5 stations . except for incline pull ups and sit and reach .

Standing Broadjump : 153(first try)
170(second try)
Shuttle Run : 11.1 seconds
Sit-ups : 45 in 1 minute .

not too bad lah . so next week will prolly do pull-ups and sit and reach .
weird , i feel so eager to do the 2.4km run ;D
after p.e was physics . lagy aku tk concentate as i was tired and hot giler babi .
but at least i listened to what Mr Amos Goh was trying to say .
reccess was next . didn't change to our uniform as told .
rebel rebel rebel aje !
but in the end we did as Mr Chan walked pass our class and saw our class not in our sch uni .
suay sak .
so i changed in the classroom . hahaha !
i was super too lazy to go to the toilet tho we were given time .
it was during maths lesson at that period of time .
for mother tongue , we always knew cikgu won't come usually on wednesday .
we waited for more than 15 mins and she still didn't timbul .
so we headed to the library .
i read my thick thick book was was ended up getting distracted by my peeps .
so talk and talk .
bobal sal chalet and stuffs .
mai said that they're planning to make a chalet .
combination of 4N2&3 .
i thought it was such a pretty good idea . its been long since i last went for chalets .
but i told them we have to book early .
they say they'll decide after mid years and we'll see what will happen .
stayed at the library till 2 and we heard that the beatty idol audition is today .
so me and zan was like " WHAT !? TODAY ?! OMG , ARE YOU SURE YOU WANNA GO ? "
i said yes . zan and me were shivering and triedd to recite the song lyrics .
we thought of dueting but idk lah .
at last 2.30 we went to ava , we saw nthg .
and lucky mel told us that its _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ {:
damnit , you wouldn't know how relieved i was . so was zan !
then at 4 we went home .
i didn't weent home with hetesh today as i went out of school late .
sorry , pig ;D

keluar skola , nmpk dorang .
at first buat bdh then ramadan kept on distracting me -.-
so i asked him where's "HE" .
die ckp die tk dtg and i was like " ohhhh . "
bused home and mother was not really well .
she's resting now and i'm tryna find nice songs .


All the best to me and zan kay ? ;D

i don't know whether to say i'm having some stupid fucking tiff with baby or not .
after school he msg me quite slow unlike the usual days when he msg me straight after his cclass got dismissed .
=.=
its been two days he's giving me this attitude . but i just ignore .
why ? coz i don't wanna fight .

ytd morning i did msg him asking whether or not to meet before i go in sch , and his reply was " no need , you go in sch first . "
okay , i shut up and went in sch .
before ytd , he told me he wanna meet me after schoool to celeb our 11 months .
so i said okay . but in the end , HE GAVE ME DISAPPOINTMENT .
he said he was tired .
His most popular reason : TIRED .
so i expect him to go home since he say he's tired .
but in the end , i saw him at r.c with his friends -.-
darah up but i buat bdh when i see him and went home with hetesh .
bobal nan die at least blh uat aku happy .
today plak , i got no mood to meet him so i said i am not meeting him as i was tired and i went HOME STRAIGHT after that with hetesh again .
i didn't even bother to msg him or wake him up like usual in the morning today .
coz i know he won't care much anymore .
suke hati luh b .
malas mau lynnnnn -.-





anw , mai and me are getting on pretty well today and you guys won't know how happy i was .
fucking happy i tell you .
it's like " AHHH ! AT LAST ! "
babe , i love you .
janji i tk uat lagi kay {:

i think what i post ytd was a lil bit too harsh as my peeps felt disappointed .
haiyah .
idk lah whats happening to me .
as what you people realised , somehow my attitude mcm tukar to mai's attitude dulu .
now i realise .
i can feel it . ape niy ? ktrng terswwittch ehh ?
tk suke sia .
but whatever it is , i mintak maaf to MAIZURAH BINTE ____ AND MOHAMMAD RAFFE BIN __ okay {:
i love you guys as my most wonderful friends of all .
LOVE !




anw , today is my 11 MONTHS with baby !
*wide smile !*
huhu , 1 more month to 1 year anni !
to those yang pikir ktrng tk lei last kan kan kan , we're gonna prove you wrong .
just another 1 more month .
;D
friday will be going out with baby to celeb our 11 months .
will be heading to , i-dont-knoow-where .
but will be watching fast and furious 4 ! ;DDDDD
from there we could catch up what we've missed since we don't really spend much time together .
mid year starts exactly on my 1 year with baby .
pukimak !
and it starts after i come back from my holiday .
sialans !
so , i will be bringing book to m'sia to study and to enjoy .
babi sia.
hahahahh ! but nvm lah . just have to sacrifice a lil sometimes eh .


currently watching M:I 3 .
i've done my quiz at ace laerning .
i have not yet to finish my ulasan . grr .
baby pun dah offline . cam mendak gituk . waduhhh .

kay luh .
i've run out of wordszsz .




GOOD NIGHT ! ;D







i love you , bby !

Happy 11 months , baby ♥







Sorry for the late updates as i was wayyy to lazy to update anything .
updates on my recent tests .


Physics : before checking answers , 13/25 . after checking answers , 15/25
P.O.A : got 23/40


monday there is maths test . fuck uh fuck ! otak sakit sial gini mcm .
well , anw , school has been .. okay i guess .
always smiling , laughing and attentive tough at time i just fel like putting my head on the table and sleep .

i have a super excruciating pain at my waist and foot .
mcm cramp2 gituk .
i can''t either bend myself to the side nor i can crack my back bones like i always do .
my foot plak , it makes me walk limping again .
dulu sal ankle . skrng pasal foot plak .
i told ya guys i'm going for training . but see the things i'm having now , i just can't .
thats why aku tk favourite ade p.e on wed .
confirm bnyk cramp punye .
beh ytd , i am sorry aagain ffor not calling up you guys coz i had to rush home as i didn't know my mum came back at 1 and brother tk alek camp .
{edited}