" i know , i was a BITCH in the past .. "



today had my english oral at 2.20 . but in ended so fucking late .
school ended exactly at 1.30pm .
then on-ed my hp and received a msg from baby ..
from the way he msged me , i knew , smthg wasn't right . idk but i just can tell whether everything is alright or not ..
so then , he told me what happened ..
i swear i didn't do anything that upset baby ..
he's just being too worried/scared/angry ..
and since after we had the talk last night bout him not wanting me to even step into ITE ..

his pain , my pain too !
fuck , i can't bear to see him in pain anymore ..

if can , aku nk delete tagged account aku or possible , delete smuer comments orang kasi aku .
aku mcm nk delete smuer contacts msn aku , except for the my peeps and baby .
aku cam dah tk brani nk jadi social sgt lagi .
aku tk brani nk sakitkan ati die lagi .. walaupun aku tk uat pape , other people's reaction towards me may hurt him tho i ignore ..
i know , i admit , i play timer dulu with my ex's . yes , i was a total bitch .
a Bitch okay !
thats why it worries baby alot now when he sees my tagged account is full of guys comment .
tho they just ask me for intro and msn .
mmg , baby his ownself is doing it . but tkp , bia die uat . i tak pasal .
lau rase sakit hati pun i will just keep quiet . coz i trust him . i believe him . i know i can count on him .
worst , he's scared that i'll be the girl i used to be last time .
it hurts ya'know ..
oone after another ..
i'm trying so hard to avoid/ignore things which may hurt him so much ..
i'm seriously trying so hard ..
i don't give my number to any other guys anymore tho they ask me for it .
i swear i never give them my number .
i'm proud of having baby being with me . i really do .

if they ask for my number , i will just say " i'm sorry , i love my boyfriend . i don't wish to hurt him by contacting other guys . in fact , he doesn't like it . "
i really do say such things you know ..

but what have i done wrong to be in this state ? ..