& i hope , the instrumental song will touch your heart ..


I've given away my heart,
So it could be torn into pieces.
He left me with the feelings of betrayal and being forgotten.
I'm so in love, yet so alone.

Feeling his absense hurts the most.
My constant urge to call is almost taking over, while on the other side, my cycle of feelings starts with rage.
Slowly going into sadness, rage again, desperation, devastation, and finally denial.

Every morning I open my eyes to emptiness.
Seeing a long black hallway with nothing in between.
This so-called love has taken over my life leaving me distracted.

Days pass by and now my emotions are going crazy.
Leaving me no choice but to vomit.
To empty my pesimistic thoughts.
To stop thinking my life is over.
To stop my tears everynight from falling.
To stop feeling like my heart has shattered into fifty pieces.

The hardest part of moving on is the jealousy on top of all my misery.
But soon enough I'll go to bed realizing I survived this struggle.
I need to escape my depression to continue breathing.
And regain my strength to love again.



the other day in the morning , as usual , i always wear the heart necklace with the 'N' & 'M' initials ..
till that morning , when i wanted to brush my teeth , all of a sudden , the chain fell off when it was locked properly always ..
my face was blank . my mouth hanged open .
as you know , it somehow shows me a bad sign .
its a sign which i don't ever wanna know or think of ..
so i tried to change the chain as i forced myself to think that the chain lock it spoilt .
so i changed it .
still , after i finish bathing , the necklace went hanging loosely on my shoulder , ready to fall .
but i managed to get hold of it before it fell .

seeing it like that , i just feel like breaking down into tears ..
whats gonna happen between me and baby ?
:'(



baby and i fought like hell ytd ...
i couldn't stand it , i went offline and broke down into tears in my room ..
my heart couldn't take it ..
but still i endure it ..
sigh ..

but whatever it is , how bad baby treats me , no matter how bad he scolds me , no matter how much he'd had forgotten bout me , no matter how much he doesn't care bout me , i will always hold on to my promises that i will love him no matter what happens and no matter how bad the situation is , no matter how hurtful and stressful i am ..

baby , i just wanna let you know ..
i miss ya , i love ya ..
always in my heart and forever will be ..