so my final decision is not to go for the class chalet .
but if there were to be after N level , i'm sure to go .
but not during this june hols .

i needa studyy lah sial .
and also , i think about my r/s before going for this chalet .
i'm scared i'll have the temptation to get tipsy .
hak puik , threw away those habits .

watched camp rock just now .
jonas brothers are just soo cute . GAGAGA !
boyf concentrate well on that show .
same goes to me .
huahahaha .
after the show finish , then he msg me .

he say what tau , " Hey Bie , i did a quiz kat facebook kat , they say my twin is zac efron ! hahaha ! "
as he knows zac efron was my eye candy .
but i got over efron since i watched twilight .
GAGA !
zac efron
;D


then he go tease me and i'm sulking now .
and he don't even wanna pujok me .
asshole right .
grrr .
tkp , tak pasal uh k .
further more , he's having fun with his t.g.c ( org2 tertentu tau ape maksudnya ;DDD ) at woodlands .
mesti uh tkd time nk PUJOK kan !
asshole .
*HIIIAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKDISH !*
(i wsh i could give it real !)


now currently watching incredible tales .
daddy had night shift work .
and tmr there;s school !
yeay !
should i meet boyf ?
tu pun lau die nakkkkkk :|
zan has been motivating me to study since after my mum talked to him after the PTM .
hahah .
watch out if you BUSTED me again , fucker .
;D








and ffe , I'M SSSSSOOOOORRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYY x 10000000000 :(
don't sulk plsssss .
asshole . haha !















NIGHTY NIGHTS !

gondel , he's back to blogging .
mcm paham jer nk deadkan blog die .
*HIAAAAKKKKKKKDDUUUSSSHHH !*
hahah !


kay shut .
i'm so stress .
i'm counting the $$ for the class chalet .
wtf .
must i go ?


bdk2 mlayu pakse gue !

perhaps , i'm gonan continue with my love story here which i feel so sad about ..
ladies and gentleman , try to read those msgs he used to send me ..
read and think how should i feel bout the way he is to me now ..





" But a relationship without having any fighting , there's something wrong with it . I love you very much that sometimes i cepat jealous . I'm DAMN SCARED to LOOSE YOU MIRA ! "

"I'm so down . I seriously rase mcm i dah beribu tahun tak jumpe u . hai .. "
- this was during the march hols when we didn't get to meet each other so often .. we missed each other so much that we felt as if it's been years since we last met ..
don't you miss me anymore now .. ?

"U takmu sedih can ? i feel like crying if babygirl sedih .. I know its hard , but we both must hold on . Kalau baby love me , tlg tkmu sedih .. "

" Ilyvmt . tkmu luh leave me b . "

"No matter how hot/pretty other girls are , you're still thte girl that attracts my eyes , heart and feelings ! No other girl can replace you . you are very very different from them . seriously baby !
There;s something in you , that makes me love you . "

" Itu hanya tuhan saje yang tahu baby . One day , we both may have our ups&downs , but no matter what , kite tetap will pull through all that . "

" Don't leave me bby , i promise to love u , no matter what . "

" I'm always loving you no matter what situation we're in . [:
o5o5o8((: "

" Every single night of the camp , i can't sleep . Thinking of you every single minture . Hoping that the camp will be over quickly ..
Imyvvm ..
At one time , i nearly cried , thinking what are you gonna do without me , will you listen to whatever i told you or not .. "
- this was when you came back from you're camp at m'sia ..
you knew how bad i'd missed you when you're away ..
we had so little time for each toher before you went ..
i still rmb where i was when u reached s'pore safely ..
i felt like screaming my lungs out and jump everywhere as i was so happy that you're back ..
but , don't you miss me anymore when we don't meet for such a long time ? ..

" Baby , kalau i tk syg you anymore , i won't be bothered if you're with 'him' .
Maybe you thought i nye prangai brubah je , my feelings pun jugak . But turthfully speaking , my love for you is still the same . I'm still living my life for you . "
- this was when we're fighting bout him ..
i thought you don't love me anymore coz you're attitude started to change during the march hols ..
so i thought your feelings changed too ..
but you said you're still living your life for me ..
but now , since after our 1 year .. , you've changed alot ..
so , are you still living your life for me ? ..

" A 11 months is coming , I'm here to tell you how greatful i am to have you . I know i'm not the greatest , sweetest bf . But i'm trying very hard to be one . You're always my priority , no matter where i am . you're still in my heart . I love you baby (:
Hope you're always happy whenever you're with me (: "

" Ohh . anw , ily . Thanks for being with me for this past few months ! "

" You're my sun on a cloudy day , you're my umbrella on a rainy day .
You're my everything , what can i say .
I think bout you when i lay down to bed , i think bout you when 'm taking a test .
You're my number one and you're the best .
You're like a tattoo in my mind that can't be erased , i'll love you forever coz this isn't a phrase .
Its just that i love you in my unique ways (:
Stages after stages , our love grow .
Months after months , our love lasts .
Happy 11 Months Anniversary :-* "
- you wrote me a letter for our 1 year . just like the same as this poem ..
i still have ALL the letters you gave to me which is full of lovely poems that i fall in love with ..
but now , isn't there anymore poems for me ? ..

" Although kiterorang in bad terms , you're still my number 1 .. "

" Tlg , take care of your health . IIloveyou very very much . "
- this is when i got seriously ill when we fought ..
i was so stress and i was so scared to loose you till i didn't eat and sleep .
all i do was smoke till i got sick ..
i got sick because of you , but never had i mind getting sick for you ..
but now , if i get sick because of you , would you still care like how u used to ? ..

" Tanye je . Tak lama lagy i sleeping . Baby , love you taw . Rmb . Always my babylove , always my girl (: "

" *mwaaaaaaaaah!*
Nothing boleh lepaskan kiterorang , seriously . "

" Gi tido luh b , hai .. U making me damn worried sey . Tak mkn beh isap rkk & tk tido .. "

" No ! Pls mira ! iloveyou very much ! pls ! jgn tid lmbat ! gi mkn ! pls ! "

" Argument after argument we had , not a single one of them can break us apart . the love we had for each other , is so great that no words can describe .
Each night i think , why we are together ? every single night , i couldn't get an answer .
I love you like i never love someone before .
You're the most treasure thing . If i were given a chance to live 100 times , i still won't find someone like you .
You will always be a special lady to me now & forever .
I'm dead serious , mira . "

"Ily , sweetheart . "

" Baby , i promise myself never to leave you but to love you & treasure you .
I don't wish to see you with other guys .
I want you to be mine forever , baby .
I want to have a good & happy future with you .
Pls, don't ever leave me baby ..
Iloveyouverymuch .
I would give up anything to be with you baby !
*mwaaaaaahh!* "

" i will love you , b . You know love you kan ? i boleh nangis sia sekarang "

" Good .. i feel like kissing you right now .. i need you right now b .. "

" idk why luh baby . i tgok the guys that add you pat friendster&tagged , semua yang flirt2 . anytime they can just step over my boundary .. "

" B , i takot to loose you sia ... hai :( "
- you said you're scared to loose me ..
but are you scared now ? since you've changed so much ..

" You too ! i won't ever leave you . Trust me on this .. "
- you said this to me .. i won't ever delete this msg ..
but do you mean it ?


"As long as i'm still breathing , you're still mine ! apeape kite gone thru hot or cold , i'm still loveing you ! Mwaaaaahhh ! Nights ! "

" Hehehe ! you know , i'm glad that i have you b ..
Kalau i takde you .. i taktawu ape jadi nan hidup i .. "
- you said you're glad .
but are you still now ? ..

" B , hari berganti hari , ku cinta pada mu ! :-* "
- hah , i rmb this msg ..
i was on thte way to school in the morn and you gave me this sweet msg ..
it made me smile so much throughout the school hours ..
but isn't there anymore morning msgs from you now for me ? ..

" I'm sorry that i simpan .. But b , i just can't control my jealousy .. "

" I said i'm sorry . its just that i tgok tagged you , hati boleh jatoh , boleh terbakar . blh mcm2 .. "

" B.. tlg jangan tinggalkan i b .. :'( "

" I know you're jealous , i'm sry . but i had a really bad nightmare b .. i takleh stop air mate from flowing .. :'( "
- this is when we fought bout , F _ _ _ h .
you knew i was jealous . and you did everything as not to make me sad and jealous ..
but soon after i created back my tagged account , you betrayed me ..
don't you care bout my feelings anymore ? ..

" Baby , i'm here to say that i'm so sorry for the words that i used to you just now . i really didn't mean it . i didn't get jealous for fun . i got jealous coz i'm scared to loose someone that i deeply , madly , seriously love ..
i can't bear to see us both apart or to see anyone stealing you away from me..
i'm sorry for those words i used , i really didn't mean it ..
you're the women of my life , my pillar of strength ..
my heart and desire ..
i just love you so very much .. "

" B , i sumpah i taknak berpisa dgn u .. i want this r/s to last .. "

" Nuramirabinte*****
pls be home quickly , i'm missing you .. i need you .
i want your hug , kisses and iwant to hold your warm tender hand .
Iloveyoubie! "

" I hope , when you wake up and you see this msg , there will be a smile on your face .
Months of waiting , and at last i got you baby .
another 3 days will be our big day .
i remember every words i told you , the promises i made .
all of it is still intact in my mind .
i'm very b;essed to have be given a chance to love & treasure you . i won't ever ruin my chance because i know once i ruin it , it won't be the same anymore .
i hope that our love will always be strong and i will pray hard that our relationship could last forever (:
you're always an angel in my eyes , you're priceless .
no one could steal you away from me .
Once my property , always mine (:
Nabl&Mira , since o5o5o8!
Ily:-* "

" 12 plus . bie , i'm sorry that i have hurt you ..): "

" I'm sorry .. really baby .. "

" Ohhh . bby , no matter what happends between us , i still love you :-)
good or bad , you're still my gf :-) "

" Don't think too much luh baby . ingat that i always love you no matter what . "

" then don't fight anymore . ilyvm , u know that right ? i tak sanggup tinggalkan you .. ''

" i really really love you .. (: "

" haha ! of course me ! go to sleep taw . bace doa .
and lastly . . . I love you .
Since 5 may 2008 . :-) "

" ily , pls do take care of yourself when i'm not around .. "

" Bie . i love you . seriosuly . "

" i only want the best for you :-)
jgn lupe i taw . "




the last line was the last that cheered me . and that was on the 21st may ..
long enough for me to miss those kind of msgs to appear in my inbox ..

for what i have realised ..
since after he created tagged account during march .
23rd march to be exact .
since after , he got so wild ..
he was a favourite for the girls he added ..
despite scolding me when guys asked me for intro's and for my msn , he himself asked those girls of his for intro's and asked them for email adds .

just what should i feel ?

he's like a full time PIMP in tagged .
let me repeatt hat , a PIMP .
what should i feel again ?
he said his heart can burn whenever he sees my tagged . but what about me ???
my heart burns 10000 times more than him ..
but he just seem not to care ..

before we had our biggggg biggggg arguments since after our 1 year , everything was sooo fine ..
so normal though we fought a lil ..
sweet poems and msgs always appear on my screen , day and night ..
oh god , if he only knows how much i missed it ..
every morning , when he'd alr woke up from his beauty sleep , he'll always msg me asking me " b ! da angon ? " . you know with the sense of being in a happy mood like that ..
oh god , if he only knows how much i missed it ..

now ?
day and night , nothing ..
no sweet poems and msgs ..
not much of "iloveyou"(s) ..

just what should i think bout this r/s ?

when i told him the way we msg now is diffrent , he didn't wanna reply me .

sometimes i just feel like swearing him any words i could find in my mind .
feel like killing him , stranggling him , etc .
but why didn't i do it ?

coz i love that heartbreaker asshole so much .

yes , the setans are tempting me to get my old self back so that i could teach him a lesson .
but thank god , alhamdulillah , i could resist the temptation .
but i know , my resistance is not for long coz my patience is getting thinner every day with his attitude ..




don't blame me .



REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE .

WHERE YOU COME FROM .

JUST LIKE WHAT YOU'VE ALWAYS TOLD ME ,

" THINK OF OUR RELATIONSHIP BEFORE

DOING ANYTHING . "

BE A MAN OF YOUR WORDS .





Is this a love or a pretend ?

i'm so friggin bored .
my status was set to busy as i was watching tvee with dad .
then when i get back to my comp to check who's online , saw boyf .
so i asked " online then tk tegor ? "
and he never reply .
blood nk boil pun tak gune .
he went offline just like that .
baek kapeeee .
tak pasal ah k .


so earlier , i rushed to school as i told santhi my parent will be coming at 4 .
from the opposite of the apple house , i ran to the bridge , then run as fast as i can to block 200 where i met mum .
rushed in school . and i ra up to 4th level to look for santhi and she wasn't in the class .
so i went down to level 2 .
mum called her .
she talk and talk and i tend to roll my eyes .

then blablabla , went to meet zan to pass his audition form .
and also , mom wanted to speak to zan .
mum said that she wants me to go out for study group with him and with the rest asap .
no matter till what time . but not till too late laaa .
mak tk pasal , matae pasal tauu .
tk psl2 gado nan boyf . wooooo , tknak tknak .
then mum , me and zan chit chat for while .
after , headed to bradd mac to eat and met dad there .

headed home after that .
boyf mcm prangai gitu kan . aku msg tk reply .
nabu cibs tol .
suke hati laaaa yerr .

penat uh .

well , school ended at 10 today .
zan came today , at last . hahaha .
ade gak teman . oh well .
my classmates are pretty nice to me .
LOVE ;D

after school . though of wanting to meet boyf but .. uhm :| , he went for breakfast and went home ..
so again , what can i do ?
decided to head to mac with mai and efa .
the mac mcm budak beatty nye tempat . full of my schoolmates .
memekak nk mampos .
then msok mac , nmpk ajan .
said hi and went to find for a seat .
while queuing , rafi (4t2) chit chat with me mcm dah 4 tahun kenal .
hahaha !
he say what tau , " eh kau masok sec 5 laa . tkmu waste . aku tau ko boleh ! "
chey . encouraging sehh ! kate school councillor maaahhh .
hahah !
anw , thanks rafi {:

dah beli mkn , dudok , bobal mepek nan my girls .
send songs and stuffs .
laugh and laugh .
hahah !

i was actually pretty down as i did very badly for MYE .
but didn't show it .
i got envious when boyf msged me that he passed .
ini satu cabaran niy !
but , how am i gonna win him sial ..
my subjects all mcm sial .
susah nk mampos .

i wish i could downgrade to tech .
seems so much easier .
tapi , tech nan acad ape kurangnye jugak kan ?
aiya .
sedih sia geng .

so later around 3 plus , will be heading off to school and meet my mom .
meeet santhi bitch .
see what she say about me .
i swear to be rude to her if she said smth that is not right .
idc whether my parents are there .

prelims starts n august if i'm not wrong .
please , i wanna get serious now .
i don't want fights that occurs during my examination just like my MYE .
dah stress with MYE , stress plak nan problem .
so please , i wanna focus and be serious .

june holidays will be packed .
have to go to school for 1 week as my class has extra lessons .
i'm not gonna whine as this is the best for me and i promise not to miss any of it and to focus .
cikgu yati helped me with peribahasa ytd .
she knew i was weak in it and she taught me how to uncover the meaning behind those complicated words .
and yes , there is malay class during my hols .
*i'm not whining !*

so , 1 week of my holiday is gonna be a normal schoolday for me .
i'm striving hard to achieve more better results than this MYE results .
i know i've been saying this and then it goes into thin air .
but seriously , ii'm serious this time round .
5 june i will have school . so baby , i'm sorry we have to postpone our 1 year 1 month anni outing .
i promise i'll make a date and will spend my time as much as i can with you during this hols .
but i know you have your friends for you to enjoy with when i can't right ? ..
uhm , so after , 10 june , my birthday , i'm so not looking forward to it .
seems so boring and nothing .
meaningless too ..

perhaps will be visiting the zoo one of those days .
and yeah , every week , i'm going for regular jogs in the morning , followed by gym-ing and then swimming .
every week , yes .
loose weight coz the p.e department set us an assignment to do during the hols and that is to loose weight .
every morning , i'll wake up at 7 .
and go to either bishan or tpy stadium for jog and gym-ing .
but not bishan for swimming .
gotta control my diets and all .
we'll seeeeeeee when school re-opens , who loose weight the most ehhh ^^


my aims for semester 2 is that ,

1. Be seriously serious in studies .
2. Leave the r/s probs aside till i have a free time for it .
3. Don't stress myself with r/s probs .
4. Focus in class .
5. Get my interest back in accountings .
6. Try not to absent myself from school anymore .
7. Meet boyf once in a while when i'm free .
8. Study and study at home evetho there's no one to supervise me coz i can note down the questions i'm not sure with and clarify it with my tchers .
9. Go for frequent serious group study .
10. BELIEVE IN MYSELF THAT I CAN DO IT !

yes , thats my aim .
so boyf , i need your co-operation .
i'm gonna say this early so that you won't make a big fuss in the future .

I'm gonna say sorry now if i couldn't spend much time with you after semester 2 starts ..
Tho its our anni , and i can't make it , doesn't mean i've forgotten bout it .
i promise to set a date when i'm free to make up for our anni's .
don't make me suffer with fights and arguments ..
doesn't mean i leave the probs aside , i don't care about it ..
doesn't mean i don't get to meet you often , i don't love you anymore ..
don't ever think otherwise ..
coz you always in my mind and heart whereever i go , whatever i do .
i may be diffrent when semester 2 starts ..
but please , just endure it for a few months till my N level is over .
you want me to go sec 5 coz you don't want me to ever step into ITE kan , baby ?
so you have to understand me and don't make me angry and sad .
give me support , encouragements when i feel like giving up ..
i'm trying to fulfil your wish which is to get to sec 5 .
i swear i'll try my very best .
I'm proud of you that you did better than me .
i felt so ashamed . ashamed that i couldn't do much more better than you .
envied you . but i take that as a challenge .
keep on reminding me to study when i feel lazy ..
tell me words that could make my eyes and heart open to realise i'm slacking ..
remind me , i'm taking my N level and its not any other normal school examination ..
i'm counting on you ..


well , as for my family ..
i know we don't have much time to spend with each other ..
there were less encouragements but alot of sacarsm which makes me feel so tense .
i don't like to be compared ..
no other child would like it ..
coz i brings down their confidence and they tend to feel that they're useless .
as you know , no one is there to supervise me in my studies at home .
if wanna rely on abang , he's always whining when i ask him to teach me .
and when i don't understand what he was trying to explain , he gives up on me ..
to rely on dad , he can't rmb some of the methods for maths ..
and it takes him days to recall back and somethimes , tend to forget bout the help i asked for ..
to rely on you mum , english & malay is what i can ask you to help me with ..
coz you've told me that you are not that good in maths and ask me to ask dad ..
its hard for me ..
i can't study by my ownself ..
and sometimes when i wanna go for group studies , you nag .
saying i'll get distracted easily ..
yes but we know how to focus back to our studies after some distractions ..
zan is the only one i could rely on as he's strong in most of the subjects ..
tho sometimes he couldn't manage to explain to us in a proper way , at least he tried ..
he was the one who taught me chemistry on the day i went to mac for group study ..
and i passed my chem .
coz i can understand his explaination better than anyone ..
mom , sometimes you always nag at me that i don't need group study and i could actually can study alone without supervision ..
but you don't know how much i'm struggling without anyone supervising me ..
i just don't know how to make you understand that ..
but i'm sorry to disappoint you and dad with my terrible MYE results ..
i was just distracted by some probs i was facing ..
and i promise not to disappoint you this time round .
you wanna me to study at home , i will . with all my heart and sincerity ..





gosh , i'm soo .. down :{

today was .. BORING . i mean , in school .
seriously .
i seriously don't see the point of going to school when most of the teacher's are not in and there's no lessons .
and a bloody teacher who gets to your nerves each time she steps in the classroom .

she wants my parents to come for the PTM , okay fine .
but she don't have the bloody fucking rights to set the time w.o my parents knowing .
and i was like " you anyhow only set time for them ? you think they're so free to just see you and talk to you ? they can only come at 4 . so its either you take it or LEAVE it ! "
then she shut up .

hahahah !
stupid bitch .

had assembly again with Glen Lim . oh i love his talk this time .
it's so hilarious giler babi ah .

after school , went to buy bubble tea with mai and i bought choc waffle and we headed to mac .
around 2 plus , we walked to R.I bus stop and boarded 13 .
headed to amk library .
gerek siaaa !
while mai serached for her NOVEL CINTA kan , i browsed through cake and ice cream making book .
then skali while i was reading it , mai brought around 4 babies names books .
so we look through all the names and i found boyf's name ;DD
and the meaning of my name and boyf .
cool kan .

;D
then called mama and she asked me to meet her and dad at pizza hut .
so i told her to call me when she's reaching .
mai waited till my parents came ^^
maceh maiiiiiii ;DDDD


then parents came , settled down inside p.h .
ordered what we want .
i was like seriously full and i couldn't drink anymore .
chit chat with my parents and off we go .

dad went home while me and mama headed to amk hub to find her friends bdae present .
headed to ntuc after that .



reached home around 8 plus .
tired tau tk .
dari skola , tk tukar baju tros balek mlm .
fuhhyooo .






currently happy mood .
boyf is somehoe back to his normal self today .
i'm happy ;D






love ya !

xoxoxoxo .

stupid santhi called my dad asking to go for the ptm .
bloody bitch !
fucking hell , hate her so much man .
she boils my bloody blood everyday in school with her stupid boring lessons .

stubborn bodoh tu bitch .
i told her my parents not free , still force them to come .
you think they no need work just to talk to you ah ?

waste time only !
pukimak lu ah !

cibai , go and die lah you .

i seriously don't know what's going on ..
i've just finish some conflicts with my family after the argument with boyf .
then now after i settled family conflict , boyf uat hal ..

what the hell is going on with my life ?
i just don't understand ..

what did i do to receive this ?


i greeted him in the morning .
i didn't go to school due to my fever ..
then he didn't even reply my greetings .
so i thought he was busy ..

then around 3 plus or 4 , he msg me saying " if u still don't wanna reply my msg , fine k . tak pasal uh . "
i was like , what the heck ? i didn't even receive a single msg from him since morning and he wanna flare up at me for nothing ..

and when i told him i didn't receive anything , he said " pape uh . "
gosh , it hurts me so much man ..



am i always to be blamed for somthing which i didn't do ?
:'(

oh well , i seriously wanted to go school today .
but ended up not going .
why ?
coz i overslept till 8 am .
argh ! frustrating sial . But i received a msg from ffe saying that only 15 ppl came to school today .
and there wasn't any lesson !
santhi didn't even come to school .
wasted sia ! walau !

then tmr he told me that less than 10 coming .
including my malay classmates .
so it means , i'm gonna be alone tmr . gerek per .
but nvm lah , used to it anw .

I msged boyf in the morning but hmm , didn't even reply me ..
frustrating , yes of course . but what to do ?
maybe he's busy lah eh .
idk :|

so now i'm so friggin bored . my msn , dah giler .
trying to recover it asap .


semester 1 is gonnna end pretty soon !
but sadly , i have extra classes to attend during the holidays .
that sucks alot .
Santhi forced me to ask my parents to come this thursday for the PTM .
i told her both my parents cnnot attend but she so degil nak mampos .
then i just sweared her some words and ask her not to disturb me .
fucking irritating .

She likes to find fault with me nowadays tho i didn't even do anything wrong .
die dah gile gaknye .




i'm waiting for 4 o'clock to strike and boyf will end his hairstyling course at tanjong pagar .
tu pun lau die msg luh .
if not then , ITS OKAYYYYYY ..





xoxoxo .

sometimes , the night sets me wondering .
and when i do , tears started rolling down my cheeks .

we don't really msg one another like how we used to .
maybe coz you're busy with your own stuffs ?
or you're just not in the mood ?

every day and night , no matter what time it is , i tend to check my phone if there's any msgs from you .
But sadly , i received msgs from my friends when i was seriously expecting you .

i'm so trying to adapt to the way you are now .
just trying to make you happy and so not to fight again .
i care and love this r/s .
i'll do anything for it to last .
eventhough , there's so many holes in my heart .

still , i'm gonna be strong .
you're most strongest girl ever .
being the one who'll give you the love you never had .

you try , try to find others who can treat you like the way i do .
could you find ?
could they treat you like i do ?
could they love you like i do ?
could they be faithful like i do ?

am i not showing enough love for you and this r/s ? :|

waduh , wa seriously pey penat ahhh nari .

matae jarang msg . die mintak kene nan aku niy , bknnye ape kan kan kan .

tkp .

WATCH OUT BBY ! ;D

Well boyf . perhaps this is the best way for me to tell ya my feelings which i've been keeping all alone ..


when we fought , i felt so weak .
i felt i've lost you , lost you forever and never coming back .
i swear i've never felt like this before .

why the hell i'm scared of loosing you when we're fighting ?
you your ownself know the answer .
in fact , most of the people who knows us , knows the answer themselves ..
the reason is , i just love you very much .

think back , was i scared to loose any of my ex's ?
did i ?
but you , you're someone so special . someone whom i treasure with all my heart .

when we fought , yes , i think of many things negatively .
i was angry .
like the song 'Take a Bow' says , " i gave you love but all you gave me was pretend " .
i felt so cheated when you reacted so harshly towards me ..
i was so hurt , so disappointed .
i cried all day and night , thinking why must this happen to me all the time ..
all i ask from you is happiness ..

and yes , what i s a relationship without fights yeah ?
i believe in that . coz without fights , the relationship is so not normal eh .
and with these fights we had , i thought we could understand and learn more about each other ..



"PROMISE me , that you won't ever leave me no matter what happens in the future ..
PROMISE me , that you will love me no matter what happens to the both of us ..
Baby , i really want to take take this relationship seriously .. "

"I know i won't ever leave you , because i love you very much . Just you Nuramira!:-)"

"Baby must understand , i can't afford to loose you to anyone .. There's no one else that is so knd hearted , sweet & beautiful like you . "

"I told you dulu kan , whether we have a smooth or rough relationship , I'm still & always be Mira's boyfriend:-)"

"Happy 10 months baby ! ape ape jadi , i tetap setia dengan you . I sumpah demi allah ! I won't let anyone to touch/steal you from me ! Amira , the only girl that i love since o5o5o8!! "

"Loosing you is a never . I taknak hilang tempat bermanje .. Ily:-)"

"Keep those words that you told me no matter what happens . I'm having high hopes on us . i da malas nak carik matair lagy . I nak you je , mmira . I've known/understand/trust/love you for a long time already & i don't want to see us breaking apart . For once , i'm scared to loose a stranger who was once my friend and now she has become my girlfriend . Don't ever make my heart feel lonely & broken again . Nabil&Mira , since o5o5o8(: "




and etc ..




do you rmb all these msgs that you send me baby ? ..
i read all of the msgs you've sent me every night ..
and after , i close my eyes and pray that whatever you told me , you'll mean your words ..





with love ,

Your girlfriend ♥♥♥♥

another day to spend my time at home lazing around finding anything that can entertain me .
from tagging to blogging and to chatting and after wards im not sure eh ?

i'm currently chatting with boyf .
sending him some psp games .
he's watching this zombie kampung pisang nye crite while i watch 'i'm not single' .
gees , that movie really drives me off to lala land man .
pikiran pun jauh .


so , ytd , i told you guys i didn't put in much hope for boyf to call me right .
but in the end he did .
i think i knew the trick not to be hurt when he say he's not calling .
Don't ever put too much hope in it .
so that eventho he said he's not calling , you won't get hurt that much {:

ytd night was hmm , so-so for me .
well , smthg happen after i put down the phone .
which i don't wish to elaborate .
lets see how well my night goes tonight .

my day was great by right . but not until i hear someone's name whom i truly , sincerely HATE .
but oh well , what can i do anw ?
nothing that i can do right . -.-
but i'm glad at least there is someone who could actually entertain me .


while i let him enjoy , i let someone else entertain me .
i just hate to disturb his enjoyments with that asshole .
i couldn't care much though .
as long as boyf knows whats right and whats wrong , i shall shut my mouth .
i may not know what he's doing behind me but i have my ways .
don't try me .


so , princess diaries had just ended .
it shows what love really is . and love can't be forced .
its hard to find a true love , yes i agree .
i'm still young , and yes i know . at my age , i should be enjoying right ?
but it's just that what happened in the past stopped me from enjoying and being 100% socialized with both guys and girls .
further more , i'm currently attached to Nabil .
and yes , he's a one hard thing to handle but still himself and i managed to tolerate with each others nonsense .
he made me cry many times .
i feel like strangling him for that . i wish i could .
but i love him . and i don't wish to do things that'll hurt him .

well , he msged me few mins ago asking me whether wanna talk2 at night .
once bitten twice shy , i didn't really put too much hope on it .
and yes baby , i missed you calling me late at night ..
but the feeling of missing it , i just have to hide it coz you're always tired ..
and i don't wish to trouble you at all .
but then , you told me that i could've told you that i missed our late night calls as at times you're free .
so , i'm sorry for not telling ya .


well , i'm in such a so-so mood now .
this few nights , i've been smoking alot . when i read the histories of my msgs , i felt sad .
i'm not sure why .
but , will he be there when i need him ?


the answer is still unsure ..

thank god , i'm feeling much better now .
no vomits today , and i'm damn glad .
today is saturday and i've no plans since i've just recovered .
in fact , i'm fucking lazy to go out now adays . which idk why lah eh . just feel like lazing around the house and do nothing .
perhaps , i'm not in a mood for outings yet beacause of the outcomes of my MYE results .
i'm so sad . and what am i gonna tell my parents lahhhhh ???
:{


so , i got bored and went online while in the midst of msging boyf .
he don't seem to be in a mood coz he was being sacarstic to me .
he don't wanna online anymore when i'm online . how sad is that ?
but i think i know the cause of it .
TAGGED .
aiyaya .
ape nak jadi laaaaa ?

then i got angry and didn't reply his msg .
now i'm reconsidering whether to reply . i'm scared that we'll fight again . and i DON'T want that , plssssss :|







oh well , i had a great time webcamming with ayiid ytd ;D hahah !
kekek kape ! lol !
then we talked bout alot of stuffs .
its damn hilarious when you webcam with her .
haha !
webcam again soon , ayiid ;p

So yeah , i've changed my blogskin again . This a a lil bit better than the previous one .

I've not been attending school ytd and today .
ytd i couldn't manage to move much as my stomach gave me a horrible cramp problem .
today , i vomitted around 3 plus am in the morning . TWICE somemore .
i felt so weak .
boyf went to school today and i think they've just been dismissed .
i msged him for while and i felt bad coz i made him worried bout me during school hours .
gees , i missed him so much ..
i'm sorry , bby .

woke up around 11 plus . bathed , eat a lil and on the comp to kill my boredom .
in fact , mai , ffe , zan also didn't attend school today .
so i don't see a point going to school .
i'll be alone and will be bored for sure .

ytd night , called mai and talk craps .
we both sang so loudly like orang gile pun ade . HAHA !
then we get back to our serious mode .
a few mins later , our gile-ness came back . tsk .

slept arond 2 plus and had to wake up at 3 plus to puke out .
my stomach is seriously upset . but idk whyyy .. :{
the only thing i rmb was that on wed , mama bought me chicky rice and i poured 3 packets of chilli on it .
but that couldn't be the cause why i vomitted right ?
but whatever it is , i'm really hoping i would get well soon .
i'm so tired of getting sick all the time .
believe it or not , i've not been feeling well since 3rd may . the day i came back from m'sia .
choy , i've no swine flu eh !
astaga .

i'm feeling so nauseating now .
my head is spinning round and round a lil .
but i can still manage it .



oh well , GET WELL SOON MEEERA !

& to AYIID too !

to my primary school friend :

Smlm ko call aku , mintak tlg turon tpy . Sebab ape , ko kene rembat nan budak mlayu nan cine . Aku ckp aku sorry aku tk lei turon bab aku busy .
tapi aku tk sangke yang kau accuse bdk2 beatty yang rembat kau nan besi sia ..
tpy rmai bdk g sch yang lain .
yang pkai baju putih , slua putih . asl ko tknk ckp bdk yuying ? sane rmai pe .
beh ko tanye aku whether bdk sec 3 kat sch aku bnyk bdk mat rep ? aku ckp sikit aje .
and you said you wanna turon my school tmr .
like wtf okay ?
ape jadi lau ko tarik salah org ? and lau org tu matae aku ?
kau bilang aku jgn worry . tapi sial ah , ape ko rase lau aku tarik matae kau sembarangan sia ?
beh ko convinced aku yang kau turon stakat nk confirm jek . kay aku caye kau .
tapi lau besok , aku nmpk ko tarik salah org , aku tk akan anggap ko as kawan lame aku agik uh kay .





take care ah .

Leona Lewis Take a bow Lyrics:

[Verse 1:]
The flowers are all faded now
Along with your letters
They will never
see the light of day
Cause I'll never take them out
and there's no turning back
it's for the better
baby I deserve
more than empty words and promises
I believed every thing you said
And I gave you the best I had
Oh.

[Chorus:]
So take a bow.
Cause you've taken everything else
You played the part
and like a star you played it so well
Take a bow
Cause this scene is coming to an end
I gave you love.
All you gave me was pretend
so now
Take a bow

[Verse 2:]
The future's about to change
Before you know it
the curtain closes
Take a look around
There's no one in the crowd
I'm throwing away the pain
And you should know that
your performance
it Made me stronger now

[Chorus:]
So take a bow.
Cause you've taken everything else
You played the part
and like a star you played it so well
Take a bow
Cause this scene is coming to an end
I gave you love.
All you gave me was pretend
so now
take a bow

[Hook:]
Well it must have been sleight hand
Cause I still can't understand
how I could never see
Just what a fool believed
but the lies they start to show
tell me how it feels to know right now
that I wont be around
so baby before I put you out

[Chorus: x2]
take a bow.
Cause you've taken everything else
You played the part
and like a star you played it so well
Take a bow
Cause this scene is coming to an end
I gave you love. All you
gave me was pretend
so now
Take a bow









i find this song makes me kinda sad hearing to it ..
but it's nice .

well , as i've expected , i will have GREAT DISAPPOINTMENTS with my bloody mid year results .
so far , i've passed english and mother tongue .
for science , sial ah , i pass chem but failed by few marks for physics .
but amos goh is trying to help me .

alot of things happened in school today ..
firstly , me , mai and ffe were late . so we had to sit at the white area .
then , i nearly wanted to vomit . for idk why .
so i tahan-ed . soon , the feeling washed away .
8 am , went back class . fauziah caught me for skirt . oh well ! whatever .

sat beside aubrey today since after i saw him ytd .
talk talk alot .
then p.e , didn't change coz wasn't having mood and most of my classmates tknk tukar .
so jiwe nan dorang . but kene uat 20 push ups . so do luh .
did nothing during p.e but just talk2 nan my classmates .
ffe made me cry .
he scolded me like never scold anyone before .
so i rushed to the toilet .
then kluar toilet , nmpk boyf's classmates . irsyad tegor-ed me . eventho i was truly down , i gave him a big smile because of some reasons and i owe him alot for his honesty ...

go back class , takd mood . then ffe say mai wanna talk to me .
so walk out of class , mai approached me . headed to toilet and talked to her in the cubicle ..
told her what i was feeling and haiyah , started to cry again ..
idk why , but what is happening now just hurts me alot ..
i get to know very unpleasant info's from different people ..
i'm so hurt luh ..

then wanna go back class , got paisey gak luh coz my eyes were red .
classmates comfort me .
thanks yeah {: you guys are sweet ..

i only had my mood back during MT .
tried to be happy .
dismissed at 2 , slacked . went bishan .
went home around 3.40 pm .

then when i was in the bus , an old man was sitting beside me . a chinese .
then he go rub2 my hand mcm pukimak die tol .
eee , geli siall ..




after , received a msg from boyf .
he made me cry again ..
i wonder when my tears will dry up .. i'm so tired of crying every night and day ..
why is this happening to me ..




Where is the old me who used to be so strong ? who could face anything that hits her ? ..

well , these are the photos taken .

met boyf sayang at bishan mrt . was supposed to meet him at 2.30 but i reached there at 2.40 plus .
sorry baby .
then we boarded the train and headed to somerset and we had a last minute plan to watch The Uninvited at cineleisure .
catched the 3.30 show .
out of 10 , i give the movie a 10/10 rate ! it's thrilling !
the sound effect , the sudden images that appears , damn scary .
ended around 4 plus to 5 .
ate at ljs . terserempak ah boi and co.
then while me and boyf were eating , he shouted loudly , " eh that my friend ! they're eating ! "
nak ckp malu , skit uh . haiyo .
then cpt2 abes food , we headed to vivo rooftop .

slacked and took pictures .
then , smthg happened , which i don't wish to elaborate .
then he asked whether nk jalan or not , so i said yes .
headed to banquet first to drink then trained home .


Boyf is not replying my msgs at all .
well , what to do ..
i'm always blamed yeah ?



after all , no matter what had happened today , i still had a lovely time with baby {:




note : Firah oh firah , kau jage ye ko pey step . Aku kasi kau warning friendly punya .
Jangan sampai aku tangkap kau salah step sua ye .
lau tak , lu TAKE CARE








lovee , nabil ♥

















* but why must i always know the truth that'll hurt me ? .. *

so , maybe perhaps you guys are suspense with the final decision he'd made eh ?
haaa ..

soooooo ... what was his final decision ????


tag if you wanna know , shut u and get lost if you don't wannaa know {:

today was finally the last paper for mid year ! ;D
*cheers!*'
in the morning , had to take temperature taking . and shit , i forgot to bring mine !
so me , leon , vivien had to go down to the foyer to take tempt.
then skali , kimak , ramai sial .
i saw nadiah and i smile .
then both of us were laughing . hahah !
and and , i would like to thank RUDDY for paying for me the 50 cents for the tempt taking !
coz i didn't have small change as i had 5 bucks with me . so he paid for me .
THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN ! {:
tak sangke kau baek hati . hahah !

last paper was POA paper 2 . oh well , first impression of it , it looks like english compre .
you have to describe alot .
which i think this paper is much more easier than paper 2 . (like duh !)
it's a 1 housr paper .
8.15-9.15 am .
so i really did this paper with some effort at least .
by 9.30-45 like that , i'm done with the paper and off to sleep .
but not for long luh . few mins aje .

had to stay back to meet mr singh .
then had to stay in sch till 11 as mr singh sroh clean up class .
then kene report kat die alek to mark attendance .
mepek sial . then i go talk2 with him uh . kacau2 singh .

dah dismissed , cepat2 go back home . jalan with huz .
then terserempak aidil kat apple house .
teman him jap .
but he didn't take his 153 when it came . he waited till i go first .
thank you eh , Aidil !
;D


reach home , bath , then skali , baby was alr in my house . terkejot sial .
so as i've promised , i talk some things with baby ..
hmm , it was a saddening convo .
i almost teared but baby said i was gembeng :{
how can not sad sia ..
there was some things which i asked him to do and he'd promised me alr ..

tmr will be having a date with baby to vivo/marina barrage .
maybe , we'll get tthe love we used to have again , back to us ? ..
i really wish it will ..








love ya , baby .

nak kate dah break , tak . nak kate blom break , mcm dahh ..
seriously i feel so blank now .
i made him choose his decision now ..

i got the truth for what his intentions were actually when we both were fighting .
okay luh , it hurts , it kills , but what can i do bout it ? ..
i can't force him to love me .
i'm not that desperate or smthg . like duh .

nasib besok last paper ..
aku tak tau luh pe nak jadi ehh ..


as i've told you , let me go if you don't want me anymore . follow your heart since you say you have that kinda intention a lil ..
pls , i hate forced love .
do whats best for you . don't care how much pain it'll cost me ..
heck care bout my feelings ..
& just say that you wanna a break .
and the end ..

sigh , i'm not too sure to say whether it's alr over yet ..
but well , since he's getting along well now , why shouldn't i ?
i'll go with the flow and see what happens next tho .


but he asked me smthg which somehow triggers me alot .
well , the minute he asked me that , sumpah my whole body shivered .
my brain disconnected and i couldn't think straight ..

why did he ask that anyway ?..

Muhammad Nabil Bin Jailani .

get this in ya head kay .
you can't stand this fight , me too alright . don't think only bout yourself !
who's selfish now ?
who's the one thinking bout themself now ? ME AGAIN !?

you don't even msg me a single fucking msg , asking me am i feeling alright or whatever .
BUT BRAVO UH , YOU MAKE THE SITUATION WHORSE THAN WHAT I CAN THINK OF !
1 year with you , hati lei mati uh lau gini mcm every month !

you always nak ungkit that kiter nye 1 year , kite tk kluar .
eh sial lah , tak paham pe i'm having my MID YEAR ?
you say you want me to do well . nak i masok sec 5 smuer .
skrng kan , you tkya have high hopes for me to get promoted to sec 5 kay .
coz you give me HEART PAINS AND HEADACHES during my mid year .
you make me not focus with the things you're doing to me right now .
you say we jarang jumpe ? SAPE NYE SALAH ?!
everyday after exams since the day you were 'sick' , i msg you aking you where are you and your reply was " i dah kat rumah . " or " kan i sakit b . i kat rumah " .
walau , i give you face sial . i understand you and told you to get well niy smuer .
but then yang herannye , taknak jumpe i tapi lei jumpe KAWAN you niy !
cam sial kan ? and you wanna blame me for this !
kimak , sot sial !
you sot , i lagy sot ah eh !

you don't even msg me today . it shows how unconcern are you to me now .
tell me if i don't mean anything to you anymore .
i know , you have YOUR GIRLS to company you anytime you need them .
sial ah , gini mcm eh u skrng .
tak pasal uh .
as long as you tkmo menysal what you're doing to me now !
what goes around , comes around , B !

Perhaps , i feel like i have no one already .
even my own boyf , don't feel sorry for what he'd done .
he thinks everything he do is right .
seriously , this isn't fucking fair .

go , go and prioritize your bloody friends kay . i know , friends comes first for you .
they make you happy whereas i always make you unhappy . right ?
thats what you really feel now kan ?
fine with me ya know .



you once said THIS , " i tak suke korang bobal or whatsoever . go delete him from msn or ape2 ! " .
then you also onced said , " i tak kesah ape korang promise each other . i tak nak you ade pape nan die . cut your ties with him . "
gosh , i think i'm such a bloddy FOOL to do all the things you've asked .
i did all that so that i won't hurt ya anymore .
but look at what you're doing to me now !

i don't know why you pey kate2 smuer jadii angin uh skrng eh !
ape setan da msok kat dlm bdn u !?

if you can't catch what i'm talking about , u go to your fucking tagged account and see what;s wrong kay .
you said you'll DELETE her . ha ha ! kimak , kate2 angin lagik sial !
hah , you get JEALOUS when guys ask me for basic intro and for my email add .
BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE DOING IT !
TAK MSOK AKAL KAN ?!

you ask girls for intro , add kat msn . you think i can know what you bloody guys are talking about ?!
you pandai uh eh , nak halang i , jgn chat nan dek niy , dek tu .
I KASI U MUKE , U NAEK KEPALE !

you think i ape , DOLL yang tadi hati and prasaan pe ?!
eh stop it sak .

kepale nan hati mcm nk huncur ah . lau boleh mati skaly bagos kan !
no me , you won't die right ?
you have your GIRLS with you , to accompany you .
who am i to you now , seriously ?
i don't feel like i'm your lover anymore but just your special friend .

lau dah tak sayang , bilang . jgn hacurkan prasaan org .





I'm so fucking down ..
why are people doing this to me ? ..

i think , now i should be the one who's supposed to get angry ..
what are you in your social world huh ? ..

so disappointing uh .
my heart is burning like shit .

my most irritating tutor !

ini PAU ;D

;D amcm ?

cam siak kan rash nye baju ? ahahaha !

so ytd , i went out with my study buddies to bradd mac to study for our chem paper which is today .
thank god , chem was easy !
it was such a blast lah ytd . but sad that mai and haidir didn't managed to come and join us .
met up with the peeps at 5 plus . cm biase , tu PAU last to arrive . haahha !
then msok mac , i bought mcspicy since i haven't eat yet .
after , rash came . then PAU . hahah !
started studying after pau arrived .
study study study . smpai mlm . till like 8 plus like that .
we went out once ajer to smoke . once je tau . haha .
kite terserempak many2 people . i terserempak nad , dayana , idayah , cbong's mum , myra , ramadan , shalihin , hafiz and jufri .
the guys went separate ways from us . they took the bus near brad mac while me and efa jln g bus stop kat apple house .
while walking , i talked with efa bout dan .
skali , speak of the devl seh , kite terserempak die kat apple house . tsk .
then i asked dan some stuffs .

went home , reached around 9 plus .
beh me and brother fight terok gile .
mcm sial !


smlm after my paper , kite tak jumpe . die ckp die sakit so i understand .
nari , i finish late , tk nak jumpe gak .bab die kate i abes paper lmbat and die masih sakit . so , kay tkp , i diam . beh die ckp die g uma makcik .
i said okay . then after that , i asked him what he is doing . he replied , die nak g cycling jap .
sakit2 lei g cycling eh . bagos tuu . HA HA !
da itu , die msg die ckp die da kat uma . and he's going out at 7 to meet Mon .
then i reply " pegy luh b . i tau u rindu die . "
bile ade time nak jumpe aku , die kate sakit , aku nye paper abes lmbat .. tak pasal siol . haha !
aku tkkn ckp ape-ape {: senyum jer , mcm gini > ;D
heran kan . if you guys know whats the motive of me writing this , then good lah . yang tak tau , buat tak tau je kay .
aku pun nak pretend aku tak tau ape2 .
close both eyes and ears , and you won't know anything (:
ape nak jadi nan hidop aku skrng ? ..
sedih sia .. :'(

where's the happiness i've been longing for ?? ..
am i useless to everyone or what ? ..

at least , ade gak org nk teman aku untuk DUA hari niy ..
thanks eh ;D




"Lau tak pasal KAWAN , sal MATAE . Lau tak pasal MATAE , sal FAMILY ."

i only managed to lyn boyf tadik till 5 plus .
coz , i slept after i took my medication . yes , i'm still on medication coz i'm still fucking sick since 3rd may !
sial ! my cough is getting from bad to worst .
i do have asthma , but my Ventolin inhaler dah habes . so i have to depend on myself to get air .
but not as terok smpai tercungap-cungap lah .
just that i have to take deep breaths every now and then .
having a slight fevr . 37.9 degrees . tk so bad sgt luh .

woke up all of a sudden , realising i didn't tell boyf that i wanna sleep .
so kelam kabut bangun , cari2 handphone yang ter-hidden kat bwh bantal aku .
3 msgs from him .
he asked me whether he can go study kat library .
( as i've promised , i won't say anything .. )
i asked him where is he . then he never reply ..
then i say luh that i'm sorry to disturb him luh ..
after long waiting for his msg , he finally msg .
i tried my very best not to sound angry or hurt . lau tak , gadoh lagik .
Meeera sudah tidak sangguppppp ..
so i :x , and pretend i didn't know anything (:
but its aso due to my illness that i'm a lil grumpy . irritating seh asik batok2 .
hai .


i assume he's still not home yet . didn't even wanna ask him .
see whether he can know what i really feel .
dah sakit , nak kluar lagik .
tak tau pe nk ckp/buat lagik .
i'm obviously worried bout him , assholes .

it's just you and me an no one else .






today had geog and poa paper 2 exam . HAHAHA !
ade satu cb niy kan , die blg aku exam start kol 8.30 tau .
so , i take my own sweet time uh . msok skola mcm bapak aku own tu skola .
suay ! terserempak nan santhi nan cikgu yati . kene report kat singh untuk amek temperature .
si palabuto singh tu tangkap aku pkai anklet kat kaki . beh he ask me to potong .
kan kene maki nan aku ! i was like " PALABUTO UH LU ! " . geram sak !
then faster go up class . lucky lom start paper coz i was early by only 1 or 2 minutes .
all thanks to the cb . grr !

geog paper was so-so . first time dpt habiskan most of the questions .
cume section A ade susah skit .
then our paper end at 9.45 am . but we had to stay back for the fucking poa exam plak at 10.30 am .
so slacked at the canteen . makan and all . went up at 10.15 .
get ready smuer .
when the bell rang , HAHAH ! , i never write name and all you know , i stright away sleep .
hahahah ! tgok paper sakitkan mate jek !
woke up at 11 , tried to go thru the paper . see what i can do . at least pen down smth .
see see , still no hope . so sleep again . haha !
at 11 plus like that , woke up again , do the questions anyhow . cincai je uh !
did some of the questions and off to sleep again till 12 .
after the tcher collected our papers , all rush to take their bag and walk off w/o the tcher saying that she'd dismissed us .
went home after exam .

BOYF SAKITTTTTTTT :(
hati terjatuh bile he told me smth . tangan aku smuer menggigil bile aku bace msg tu .
haiyah , told you not to get yourself into trouble kan , b ?
degil kan kan kan !
ish ! nanty u . kene PIANG PIANG dari i ! ;p

i miss him alr :(
how ?
i wanna be right beside him now .
sigh .

last night , i seriously thinked alot .
thinking how special nabil is till i can endure everything tho it is veryyy veryyy bad ..
i don't treat my ex's that way .
i don't even care bout their feelings . i don't even care if they loose me .
but baby is just so special . something so fragile that i'm scared to break it .
scared to loose him .
pelik , tapi benar .
seee how much i love you , b ? (:


i talked some things with mai last night since i couldn't sleep .
but i got a lil bit crazy luh for a while .
yang si mai plak , time aku tgah check msg , die peh suare , mak oih , lei dgr dari jauh sia .
mcm minachi tgah MERAUNG ! HAHHA !
siak siak . kekek sia .
then i say loudly at her , " MAI ! AKU NAK KAWIN NAN NABIL BESOK ! " .
and we both laughed .
hahaha ! its been so long since i talk otp with her . missed talking to her .
;D

okay luh . aku nak off comp . nak layan boyf akuuuuu ;D

i'm sorry to the haidir for not being able to join the group study .
i got to know that non of the girls went .
efa and i , sick . for mai , i'm not sure .
sorry once again .

somehow , baby came over to give me a visit . and to study together .
he came around 11 plus like that coz it was raining .
god damn it , it's so fucking cold .
i wore a sock and a jacket in the house .
hahah ! sick kan !
he came , he study cpa , i study geog . didn'tt managed to study poa coz we decided to play comp .
hahaha !
we do some quizzes at facebook and we laughed our ass off .
then we smoke2 together .

around 4 plus gituk , he made a move .
he gave me a kiss and he went off .
{:

then , tk smpai brape minute , me and boyf were alr msging each other .
we msged bout alot of stuffs .
currently just finished watching the amazing race .
the mother and son tk menang ! HUA HUA HUA !
tak fav sia dorang .
hiss .

mama cooked me soup since i'm sick .
;D
nice gile .
with chicky wings .
*yummy*




okay lah . nak go chat with mai and boyf . ;D









i swear i love you , baby .

ytd night , me and mother planned for a chalet on my birthday .
like of course , i got excited bout it .
mother told me to go to Aranda's Chalet right after we reach home .
there room avail but still need to discuss with dad .
1 more month and i'm officially 16 ;DD
kay luh , aku tau uh ade yang birthday da lepas . shhh aje kay ;p

but lau tk dpt chalet pun , i don't mind .
don't expect much for my birthday tho .
cume nk gather with friends and families ajer {:
thats my intention .

today we fam and i am not going out as dad is working and brother is at tekong having his stupidd field camp .

ytd i slept around 5 plus . listened to songs and day dream . hahaa !
i have the habit of day dreaming every night , i realised .
and yeah , i'm S-I-C-K- , like AGAIN !
this time round , my voice has changed a lil when i raise my blood voice .
had been coughing and coughing like crazy .
but still aku degil g isap rkk . cb kan ? hahah !

currently chatting with boyf . we're okay , again now .
ahaha . skejap eh ?(wink!)



boyf is handling the matter bout the imesh guy .
it send me shivers down my spine .
i am scared if they wanna meet up and then fight fight fight . i don't want that to happen siol !
aku syg nywa matae aku , siol .
tsk .
do what's right in a good way kay bby !

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL THE MOTHERS OUT THERE ! ;D

you mum's are the women of our lives .
taking good care of us , bearing the pain we caused in your tummy for 9 months ..
you did a great sacrifice for all your children , wanting the best for them .

May ol' mother's have a great day ahead !

;D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY LITTLE COUSIN , ARIF ! ;D

you lil kid , may ol' your wishes come true and study hard okay !
stop being so naughty ! haha !


meeting my aunt and her children later . celebrating my mum and arif's bdae somewhere , for god's sake idk where .

baby and i are having upside down situation .
idk why uh ... hai .
susah sgt untuk have the happiness back ..
but i hope everything will soon be fine ..

ily , tho you've hurt me deeply ..

today had physics paper 1and 2 .
fuhh , smlm pey smngat uat N level series aku .
i study a lil thorough .
then most of what studied came out . the paper was somehow easy coz it was desmond chan who set the paper . *beams!*
but ii'm not sure whether i can score for it or not .

ended at 9.30am . gerek perrrrr . hahaha !
then ktrng g canteen . slack2 . then i uat muke tembok , tahan malu , g approach wirdy untuk ask her to come over our table to talk talk .
ahah ! smthg happened too !
sorry uh eh kawan , aku seriously tk sengaje !
i swear i accidently pressed the milo packet which still has milo in it and it squirted on my friend's shirt . walau .
i screamed like hell sia !
dorang say my scream like siren . HAHAHHAHAHA !
siak siak .

slacked till 10 plus going 11 . then efa nk g mac .
efa mcm siak . aku tk bersalah , die g pukul aku nan ffe nan huz with her file because we didn't tell her that there was geog lsp .
how the heck was i supposed to know she doesn't know ?
i sot alr , i go chase her till the carpark .
then skali mai called my name and her eyes pointing to somewhere .
nmpk baby and his clan ..

i gave a cold stare , not caring the wave jup gave me .
after a hard cold stare , i walked away .
headed to mac .
then talk talk talk .
walked back to bus stop .
went home . online . chat . play trivia games at facebook .
download songs . smoke . and then , make this flower for mother .
and then sleeeepppp !






last but not least , HAPPY 46TH BIRTHDAY TO YOU MUM ! ;DD
semoga dimurahkan rezeki and dipanjangkan umur .
love ya !



monday will be going out with rmai ppl . not to have leisure time but to S T U D Y eh .
;D